


Songbird

by JustAndrea



Category: Batman - All Media Types, The LEGO Batman Movie
Genre: Father-Son Relationship, Gen, slight spoilers for the Lego Batman movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-18
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-09-25 08:37:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9811568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAndrea/pseuds/JustAndrea
Summary: Being a crime fighter can sometimes be a balancing act. But every once in a while, things do manage to work out.





	

Batman glanced down at the screen. Just above the map that was displayed on it, the digital clock read 7:25 PM. He scowled slightly. Sure, he was used to busy nights, but usually they didn’t really get going until later, usually around midnight. “Ugh…” Of course tonight of all nights had to be the rare exception-

“Dad! He’s-!”

“I’ve got it!” Slamming his foot on the gas, Batman flew passed the alleyway that their target had just turned into, deciding to instead take a sharp turn onto the street just a few buildings ahead of it. And, thanks to the Bat-Mobile’s speed and Batman’s skillful driving skills, they made it to the other side of the alleyway, just as the fiend was coming out of it.

The car screeched to a halt in front of the alley, causing the villain to freeze in his tracks. “There’s nowhere to run, Condiment King!” Batman told him, both he and Dick giving the pickle-headed man a stern glare.

But Condiment King sneered back at him. “Hmph, that’s what you think, Brät-Man!” As strange (and lame) as he was, the Condiment King certainly wasn’t about to go down without a fight! With that, he turned and tried to run back down the alley. 

Unfortunately, after no more than a few steps forward, he felt something grab onto the back of his haul (Gotham’s entire supply of hotdog carts stuffed into a shipping container with wheels on it), trying to pull it away from him. But before he could try to pull it out of their grip, the villain then felt the hit of a well-aimed bat-a-rang sweeping him off his feet. 

“Got it!” Dick grinned, pulling the container away while Batman just smirked. Another victory for the father-son dynamic duo, and since the cops probably knew what had happened and would be there soon, at least they wouldn’t have to spend too much longer there. 

“You’ll regret stopping me!” Condiment King insisted as the dark knight tied his wrists to a nearby lamppost, wanting to keep him place until the police arrived, “Anyone could see that those carts were an abomination! I mean, what kind of hotdog cart only has ketchup and mustard?! No pickles? No onions? No sauerkraut?!”

“Uh, doesn’t sauerkraut usually go on bratwurst?” Dick questioned, which earned in him another glare from the villain.

“It can be put on hotdogs too! See, people like you just don’t understand the importance of good condi-!”

“Yeah yeah,” Batman interrupted, rolling his eyes, “I’m sure they’ve got plenty of condiments in prison. So, enjoy!” With that, the two heroes started to head back towards their car, but stopped when the sound of an alarm rang out. “What the-?” 

“Look!” Dick pointed towards a shop just across the street from where they were standing. A pawn shop, to be specific, with plenty of valuables inside. With the alarm still blaring, a trio of criminals rushed outside - and froze when they saw the infamous Batman and Robin staring right at them.

Batman however, just gave them a flat look. “…Really, guys?”

Of course, the criminals didn’t reply. They just made a ran for it as fast as they could.

Dick wasn’t discouraged however. “Come on, Padre! Let’s get them-!”

“Wait.”

The boy stopped, giving his father a curious look. “ _I’ll_ get them,” Batman told him, “while _you_ get going.”

“Huh? Wait, but-” “Hey Condiments, what time is it?” Batman asked, turning to look at the villain.

“Uh-” Condiment King twisted his wrist a bit to take a look at his watch. “7:40? Wh-?”

“Exactly,” Batman nodded, looking back at Dick, “You don’t have as much time to get there as I do. Didn’t they say they wanted you there early?”

“Well yeah, but…” Dick frowned. As much as he knew that his father was right, he still didn’t want to just leave him. They were a team, after all. He didn’t want to miss out on any of the crime-fighting fun, nor did he want his father to fight alone…

Batman’s gaze softened a bit. “Look, they’re just a few thieves, alright? So it’s not like you’ll be missing out on much. I’ll just grab them, get back whatever they stole, and then I’ll be on my way, okay? Promise.”

“…” Slowly, Dick gave a small, slightly reluctant smile. “Okay…” 

“Good,” Batman nodded, handing him his Bat-Grappling Hook. 

“Good luck!” Dick told him before launching the hook upwards, It hooked onto a high-up corner of a building, and within seconds he was rising up into the air (giving a small “Wee!” as he did so). As for Batman, he stayed just long enough to make sure his son had reached the top alright before racing across the street. 

Even with three criminals on the run from him, it hadn’t been too much of a challenge - especially since they hadn’t been smart enough to split up. Once he found their trail, it was just a matter of catching up to them - which was pretty easy, despite the thieves getting a head start. ’Heh, who needs super speed when you’re Batman?’ the hero thought to himself.

A quick chase and a few more bat-a-rangs and punches later, and it was all over. It had been just as easy as Batman had predicted, and by the time he dragged the thieves back to the pawn shop, the police were already there, looking over the damage to the shop and arresting a ranting Condiment King. 

Accepting their thanks as quickly as he could, he handed the criminals over and jumped back into the Bat-Mobile. …Where the Bat-Phone was already ringing. Groaning, Batman reluctantly answered it. “Whaaaaat?”

 _“…Um, Sir?”_ a familiar voice answered after a moment.

“Oh. …Uh, hey Alfred,” Batman replied, “What is it?”

_“Well, Commissioner Barbara and I are here, as well as Master Dick, who just arrived a couple minutes ago. Though, he told us that you would be held up for a bit, and I just wanted to make sure that-”_

“Don’t worry Alfred, it’s cool,” Batman insisted as he started up his car, “I just had to stop a few extra criminals, no big deal.” He looked at the digital clock again. 8:02 PM. He smiled. “I can get there in ten min-!”

Suddenly, a loud explosion in the distance interrupted him. Turning around, he could see a huge cloud of colorful smoke from several blocks behind him. There was only one villain around that could make their explosions that colorful… However, rather than being concerned, Batman just scowled. “Seriously?!” he shouted, as if his enemy could hear him. 

_“Master Bruce?”_

Remembering he was still on the phone, the annoyed hero sat back down. “Ugh… Maybe you should add an extra five minutes onto that. Just, save me a seat, alright?!”

 _“Will do, Sir…”_ Not wanting to waste a second, Batman hung up the phone and slammed on the gas, making a quick U-Turn and speeding towards downtown. It didn’t take him long to hear that familiar laugh…

“Ah, nothing like adding a bit of color to our dull lives!” the Joker grinned as he launched another paint cannonball at a building. Along with covering it in a huge splatter, it managed to knock off several pieces, nearly causing it to collapse. “Or rather, to MY city!”

“And to think, I thought nothing could be more fun than smashing stuff,” Harley added as she skated around with her paint-ball bazooka, hitting nearly everything in-sight, “But smashing WHILE coloring is the best!”

The Joker giggled. “Of course it is! Buuuut-” He could hear the familiar sound of speeding tires and roaring rocket-engines coming towards them. “I have a feeling the real fun’s about to begin~” 

Sure enough, the Bat-Mobile soon made its way onto the scene, its driver managing to dodge every single drop of paint that flew towards it. Of course, the Joker wasn’t discouraged. 

“I really was hoping you’d join us,” he started to say as soon as Batman jumped out of the car (landing in a traditional superhero pose, of course), “I mean, after hearing that you had to chase down ol’ Ketchup and Mustard for Brains earlier, I just thought that I’d come in and give you a REAL fight~!”

“Listen-” Batman started to say, but the Joker just kept talking.

“And you know, Bats, while the yellow definitely isn’t bad, you really could use some more color-”

“Joker-”

“-Your birdy sidekick’s definitely got the right idea! Buuuut knowing you, you’ll want to stick to your dull, boring, no-fun black. Though-” Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out one of many paint bombs he had and brought his arm back, “I’m sure I could ‘help’ persuade yo-”

“JOKER!” Batman shouted, giving the clown a hard glare and not flinching at the weapon pointed at him whatsoever.

“…” Slowly, the Joker’s manic expression turned to one of annoyance. “What?” he asked, lowering the bomb.

“Look. Can we just… do this later?” the dark knight slowly asked, “Maybe just, wait until tomorrow night?”

The Joker gaped at him. “ExCUSE ME?” he asked, clearly offended, “Evil and creative masterminds don’t just postpone their amazing crimes just because their hero _isn’t in the mood!_ ” He lifted his arm again, taking aim, but his enemy remained persistent.

“It’s nothing personal!” Batman argued back at him, “I just have somewhere I need to be! So, from your greatest enemy to my greatest enemy-” The Joker paused, lowering his weapon a bit. That _definitely_ caught his attention. “-could you just leave quietly and wait until tomorrow to continue this? And if you do that, I can promise you that tomorrow, I’ll give you an all-in, completely focused and one hundred percent epic fight! One that we’ll always remember!”

“…” The Joker hummed, biting his lip slightly. Honestly, that DID sound pretty tempting, but even so… “Just what is this other thing you have to be at that’s just _soooo_ important?”

Batman sighed slightly, knowing fully well the Joker wouldn’t back down if he didn’t tell him. So, he gave him an honest answer. 

…And honestly, the Joker didn’t really know what to say to it. “Oh, wow… Uh, well-” At least he wasn’t going off to fight another villain instead. And, really, even as a villain, the Joker could still sort of understand. “Well… I GUESS I can wait until tomorrow to continue all this. Maybe take some extra time to make sure I’ve got plenty of toys for you to play with. And I guess it’s for the best, since fighting you while you’re all distracted and just trying to rush through it would be the worst.”

“Right,” Batman said simply, giving the clown a small nod in an attempt to show just a bit of appreciation. 

“So, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow night. Just make sure you don’t disappoint. And don’t be expecting me to do stuff like this all the time, Batsy!” the Joker scowled, “Greatest enemies aren’t usually this nice! You’re just lucky that I have _some_ standards!”

“Hmph, got it,” Batman nodded again, smiling slightly. Despite everything, the Joker smiled back while Harley reluctantly skated towards their car to put away her bazooka. 

Seeing that they weren’t going to try anything funny (no pun intended), Batman got back into the car, and- “Gasp!” It was already 8:19 PM?! “’Puter, enter into Autopilot Mode and get us to the Gotham Concert Hall ASAP!” he ordered.

 _ **“Yes Sir,”**_ the computer answered. Tires screeching, the Bat-Mobile turned back around and shot forward as it morphed into it’s jet-plane form. As this was being done, Batman got into the back seat and started to change outfits as quickly as he could.

By the time they landed and the Bat-Mobile morphed into it’s ‘civilian mode’, Batman had changed into his usual white tux and was ready to go! Though, before he got out, he quickly realized that he still had his cowl on. “Ugh, right.”

Not wanting to waste anymore time, he simply pulled it off and tossed it onto the floor of the car before making a run for it. His hair popped back into place just as he reached the front door, and when he arrived at the volunteer-ran ticket table, he simply put down a huge stack of bills.

“Keep the change,” he said simply, taking a moment to flash his infamously charming Bruce Wayne smile. The woman at the table, while clearly surprised, still smiled back at him as he handed him the ticket. “Thanks!” he told her before racing into the theater. “Okay, now where-”

“Oh, Master Bruce!” “There he is, finally!” 

Thankfully, it didn’t take him long to spot Alfred and Barbara waving him over to their seats. “You were almost late,” Barbara told him.

“I know I know, I’m sorry,” Bruce replied, “But, hey, I still got here in time.” He made it, just like he said he would. And in his opinion, that was all that mattered.

And, as it turned out, he had made it with just a couple seconds to spare. The moment he sat down, the lights dimmed and the curtain in front of them opened up, revealing the Gotham City Children’s Choir - consisting mostly of orphans, with all of the kids wearing baby-blue suits and dresses.

Of course, it was pretty easy to spot Dick among them, and while the boy started off with a bit of a frown, as soon as he saw all three members of his family in the audience smiling at him, there was nothing he could do to stop himself from grinning. 

The piano started playing, and after a couple seconds, the kids happily began to sing.

()()()()()()()()()

“So did you all like it?” Dick asked.

“Of course we did!” Barbara told him, giving the boy a quick hug.

“It was a very lovely concert, Master Dick,” Alfred added, “And you should be very proud of your performance.”

“Yeah,” Bruce smiled, patting his son’s shoulder, “Great job, kid.” 

Dick smiled back at them, giggling a bit. “Thanks guys! You’re the best! And, thanks again for coming.” As much as he always liked singing in front of others, it was nice to have actual family in the audience.

“No problem. So, how’s about we get you some ice cream for a job - er, concert - well done?”

“Yeah!” Dick cheered. Though, after a moment, he added, “Hey Dad? Afterwards, do you think maybe we could go out on patrol again for a couple hours?” Knowing Gotham, it wouldn’t stay quiet and peaceful for long. The city would need its heroes again soon enough.

But despite knowing this fact as well, Bruce couldn’t help but be a bit surprised at the fact that Dick was the one suggesting it. “Wait, really? Even after-?”

“Yeah!” his son nodded, still smiling brightly, “Why wouldn’t I want to?”

“…Heh.” Bruce gave a soft smirk. “Good point…” Even with the occasional frustrations sometimes involved with it, it looked like Dick had the same passion for crime fighting and saving the day (and night) that he did. And, while it maybe wasn’t the best thing to encourage a child to do, Bruce still couldn’t help but find it a bit comforting.

“Hey, it’s really not that late,” Barbara spoke up, giving a small smirk herself, “So maybe we could even join you guys? Four heroes are better than one, after all.” 

Of course, Dick had no objections to that, and neither did Bruce. “Sounds good to me. But ice cream first,” he told them as he started walking forward.

“Heh, yeah!” His son agreed, “With some whipped cream on it, maybe?”

“Ooh yeah. And if you’re going to have whipped cream, you might as well add chocolate syrup.” “Right! And caramel!” “And chocolate chips.” “And-!”

“Don’t make yourselves sick,” Barbara told them, though her concern didn’t stop her from looking amused at the whole conversation. 

“Yes,” Alfred added, “trying to fight on a full stomach could be, erm, disastrous…”

“Don’t worry, we’ll be fine!” Bruce insisted as he opened the theater lobby door, “It’ll take more than some sweets to bring us down!” “If you say so…”

As the family of four exited the building, none of them noticed the tiny drone watching from a corner…

“It is sorta cute to see, don’cha think?” Harley asked, still smiling at the tablet screen.

“Eh, I guess,” the Joker shrugged, trying to seem indifferent even if he was smiling slightly as well. Honestly, he had only flown in a drone just to see what all the fuss was about. And, while he still understood why Batman had chosen it over him, he still couldn’t exactly call it a ‘good’ choice.

“Those kids though, they should really try to liven up their song list,” he told her, rolling his eyes a bit, “I mean, a couple of them were alright but, where’s the silly and fun songs? The nonsensical songs? The songs that sound innocent but are actually dark when you think about the lyrics too much? You know, the laughs!”

“Aw well. I guess not everyone’s as good of a showman as you are, Mister J,” Harley told him.

The Joker chuckled. “That’s definitely true… And speaking of which-” He stood up from his chair. “Come on, Harley, we should get preparing for tomorrow’s show~”

Sure, the night had admittedly been fairly disappointing, but that was now the past. It was time to look to the future, the Joker was going to make sure that the following night would be a real hoot! But really though, there wasn’t much doubt in the clown’s mind that their postponed battle would be just as great his enemy insisted it would be.

After all, Batman always keeps his promises.

**THE END**

**Author's Note:**

> I like the idea of Dick still being in that choir that we saw at Commissioner Gordon’s gala, even if he’s not an orphan anymore. He just seems like the kind of kid who would still enjoy being in it ^v^ Anyway, hope you guys liked this!


End file.
